


Who Says Interns Don't Know Anything About Espionage (aka Operation 00Q)

by JustBeforeDawn



Category: James Bond (Movies), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Gen, M/M, and an owl, special guest appearance by adorable-drunk!Q, the interns have the best intentions, there's a lot of interns, this is pretty cracky guys, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-05
Updated: 2012-11-04
Packaged: 2017-11-18 00:23:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/554846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustBeforeDawn/pseuds/JustBeforeDawn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One day Q's interns decide that enough is enough and it's high time that their lovable boss and his secret agent not-boyfriend (yet) get together. It doesn't exactly go as plan.</p><p>In which the 00Q fandom takes up the mantle as Q's interns. Yeah, this is basically a bucketload of crack and fluff and shenanigans. Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Says Interns Don't Know Anything About Espionage (aka Operation 00Q)

Monday  
It was a cold morning in the Q labs at MI6 headquarters, where a group of young, tired interns were gathered, when one of made her way on top of a table and began to speak.   
“Okay, ladies and gentlemen you have been summoned here today – “  
Almost immediately she was cut off.  
“Chloe you didn’t summon us.”  
“This is where we work we’re here every day!”  
“QUIET! Now, as I was saying I have gathered you here today for a very important message”  
“Is it about the cafeteria? Are they finally going to start serving real food?”  
“As opposed to what Ash, plastic?”  
“It might as well be, considering what it tastes like –“   
Chloe could see that the group were slowly sliding into chaos.  
“GUYS. FOCUS. We are here to discuss something of the upmost importance! The ongoing affair between our loveable if slightly pretentious boss, and Mr. I’m-too-cool-to-talk-to-interns-but-it’s-okay-cuz-I’ve-got-a-nice-ass James Bond!”  
This announcement prompted a quick response:  
“Wait, are they actually together? I thought that was just a rumour?”  
“No, Lele, they’re not together. I think Ash made it up.”  
“Hey, I thought it was true!”  
“You shouldn’t be spreading gossip around anyway”  
“Sorry Ingrid.”  
By this point Chloe was beginning to lose patience. “No they’re not together. AND THAT’S THE POINT.”  
“I don’t follow.”  
“Yeah Chloe what are you on about.”  
At this point Ito spoke up, “Chloe wants us to use our genius ways to bring together her OTP.”  
“Ito! You stole my thunder!”  
“Sorry.”  
“You don’t look sorry.”  
Chloe turned around, looking sheepish, to see the group of interns, all crowded around one of the stations in the Q lab.  
“Well, she did get it right. It’s not okay for those two not to be together when they’re so obviously in love!”  
“She has a point there. Besides it’d be a tragedy for two asses as hot as theirs’ not to be hitting the sack together”  
“Exactly Kal! So are you guys in?”  
One by one, all the interns raised their hands.  
“Let the games begin!” 

Tuesday

It was Julie who pointed out the first flaw in their plan.  
“Hey guys, we don’t actually have a plan. I mean we can’t just shove them in a closet until they start clawing at eachother.”  
“Why not?” piped up Atlas, “It always works in the movies.”  
“Why don’t we just call that Plan Z, okay?” Julie said with a sigh. They fell into busy silence as they worked on their separate projects. It was Atlas who spoke next, looking up from where he was busy mixing some chemicals together.  
“We should have a rota. Every day we try something different to try and bring Q and Bond together.”  
“Genius!”  
“Inspired!”  
“Fantastic!”  
“What is?”  
The interns fell silent, turning to see their messy-haired boss standing in the doorway, an exepectant look on his face.  
“Well, what is this amazing discovery?”  
“Umm…”  
“Well…”  
“You see..”  
“The theatre!”  
Everyone in the room turned to look at Chloe, who was looking as though she couldn’t believe what she’s just said. Q raised an eyebrow questioningly.  
“The theatre?”  
Chloe nodded, eyes wide.  
“Yeah we decided that we’re all going to go to the theatre this weekend! You know, get some culture in our lives and stuff, yeah.”  
The other interns were all quick to show their agreement, nodding along and generally trying to appear as though they hadn’t just heard of this plan.   
“You should come to boss!” This time it was Clara who came under scrutiny.  
“Me?”  
Clara stood up, crossing the room to stand nearer Q  
“Totally boss. It’ll be fun, you’ll love it.”  
Q looked at her, head tilted before bringing hand up to adjust his glasses.  
“I’ll think about it. Now if you’ll excuse me I left my mug upstairs.”  
As soon as he left, the other rounded on Clara.  
“What were you thinking?” hissed Priya, “We could haven’t gotten away with what Chloe said, why did you invite him along?”  
“Think about it guys. There are two things that we are certain of. One, that Q does like us, hence why he agreed to come, and two that he doesn’t like us that much, which is why he’s just gone upstairs to get 007 and convince him to come to.”  
Ingrid was the first to question this logic. “I thought he said he went up to get his mug?”  
“Don’t be silly, Q never takes his mug out of the lab, look it’s right over there.”  
Sure enough the interns could see the now well-known ‘Q-mug’ sitting on the side of the sink by the edge of the room.  
“Mark my words,” Clara said with a smirk, “There is no way Q is turning up to a gathering with us without Bond as morale support. He knows us too well.”  
“Oh my God.” Chloe let out, “I know the perfect play for us to see. It’ll be brilliant.”  
“Well then,” Atlas said with a sense of finality “I guess this is actually happening”  
“Yep, we’ve got this in the bag.”  
“So what are we going to do today?” Priya asked, excitement lacing her voice.  
Ash laughed quietly before saying “I have an idea.”

* * * *

“Ash, please tell me you didn’t just suggest what I think you just suggested”  
“What? It could work, and even if it didn’t it’d be hilarious.”  
At this Lele exploded, “We can’t get our boss DRUNK Ash!”  
“Not really drunk, just enough too… loosen his lips a little, about a certain double O agent perhaps?”  
“But- but, that’s wrong! We could get fired! Although it would be funny”  
“Come on Lele, you know you want to.”  
“Okay, okay yes! Let’s do it!”  
There was a cheer from the rest of the interns, luckily they had it from a reliable source (read, Phil had hacked into the buildings security cameras) that Q was in a meeting with the ever-terrifying M and so couldn’t possibly know what they were up to.  
It wasn’t until later, that afternoon, when the first step of Operation 00Q launched into action. Q was in his office, just off from the main lab and was sorting out some files, with his full-to-the-brim Q mug sitting next to him.  
“Oh this is going to be good” Ash rubbed her hands together and grinning evilly.  
“Ash you do realise that you’re not some villain in some spy movie right? This is serious business.” Abi pointed out.  
“Yeah, but I’m excited! I put some tequila into his mug while I was making the tea, so it shouldn’t take too long to start taking effect.”  
“Wait a minute” Lele sounded panicked “You put alcohol directly into his mug?”  
“Yeah, I thought that was the plan?”  
“No! I soaked the tea bags in vodka, so they’d be alcoholic!”  
“Noooooo, you didn’t!”  
“Um guys,” Anna’s voice emerged, “I kinda sorta added some extra alcohol to the tea pot while it was brewing.”  
“No way I did that too!” Boots cried out  
“Guys I replaced his normal biscuits with one’s soaked in brandy!” Ingrid sounded like she was either going to start sobbing or burst into laughter.  
The interns all looked at eachother and spoke as one  
“Oh shit.”

* * * *

“Oh god, oh god, what are we going to do!” Ingrid was wringing her hands nervously.  
“Guys he’s going to know!” Abi was whispering frantically, “There’s no way he won’t taste all that alcohol!”  
“No he won’t” Andrea stated firmly “I increased the potency of his tea bags, just in case you guys went overboard. I hadn’t expected you to mess up this monumentally, but it should still work out.”   
“Yay Andrea!” Chloe exclaimed, pulling her into a hug.   
Suddenly they heard a noise coming from Q’s office, falling silent, they crept towards the door. As they drew closer, the sound became clearer, it was… laughter? After some very imaginative sign language, Ash was push towards the door. After all it was her idea. Slowly she opened the door, peering inside. What she saw was definitely not anything she was expecting. There, in the middle of the room, facing away from the door, with earphone leads disappearing under his mop of a haircut, was Q. Doing the Gangam Style dance. Badly. Wrists flailing, legs galloping, he looked about as coordinated as a baby lamb.  
“Guys” Ash croaked out, “guys, come here.”  
Slowly the others all gathered around the door, jaws dropping as the took in the sight before them.  
“Well,” Atlas said after a moment of silence “The drugs seem to be working better than expected.  
“Atlas! What drugs! There were no drugs involved?”  
“Julie, I can say this with the upmost certainty. There were drugs involved.”  
“That wasn’t the plan!”  
“Well I couldn’t afford to buy alcohol!”  
“So you chose to make drugs instead! In the middle of the headquarters of MI6?”  
“It seemed like the better option at the time okay! See, this is why I didn’t mention it earlier.”  
“Guys, now is not the time to be discussing who drugged our boss. The fact is that we aimed for ‘slightly tipsy’ and instead got ‘more hammered than a freaking nail’” Miza cut in, exasperated.  
Atlas and Julie both looked suitable shamed.  
“INTERNS!”  
Apparently during the course of their squabble Q had stopped dancing and become aware of their presence and was now making his way towards them, or at least trying to. He was about a foot away when he tripped over his own feet and feel forwards. Julie darted forward to grab him, and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, leaning into her.  
“Y’know, you guyss are really grreat interns right. I mean, at first, I’s a liiiittle sceptical ‘cause there’s sooo many of you, but you guys are the best interns I’ve ever had. Of all time.”  
“Holy shit we’re all going to get fired.”   
“Or worse.” Was Hana’s helpful input.  
It was at that moment that M and 007 walked in.  
“Hey look! It’ss M! And James! Fantabulouss.”   
Q attempted to make his way over to the newcomers but Julie held him steady, knowing that nothing good could come of a drunken Q approaching the steely head of MI6. M did not look amused.   
“What on earth is the matter with him?” She asked Hana, who was standing closest. Hana jumped and rambled off the first thing that came to her mind.  
“Well, you see, there was a thing that we were working on –“  
“A thing? I may not be most scientific person but I’m sure that I can understand slightly more technical language than ‘a thing’”  
Hana gulped “Of course Ma’am, I’m sorry, an experiment was what I meant to say, a chemical experiment which appears to have to slightly wrong.”  
“You don’t say?” This time it was Bond himself who interjected. Any remaining colour left Hana’s face.  
“Yes well as you can see the fumes seem to have had an odd affect on Q but there aren’t any health issues just a slight hyperactivity which we’re sure will wear off soon it’s all just an unfortunate incident really nothing that anyone could be blamed for in any way.” She coughed, and tried to catch her breath as the others looked on. M watched with a bemused look on her face before turning to Bond.  
“It would appear that we have to delay our meeting for the time being. 007, make sure that Q’s fit for work.”   
And with that she exited the room, leaving a plethora of stunned interns in her wake. Katee was the first to recover.  
“Oh my god Hana I can’t believe that worked.”  
“Neither can I.”  
Behind them was the sound of a throat being cleared. They’d forgotten that Bond had stayed behind.  
“So, are any of you going to explain what really happened to Q?”  
“JAMES!” Q finally managed to unravel himself from Julie and promptly fell onto Bond, who to his credit caught and held him up with no trouble. “Did I ever tell you that you’re my favourite agent? Like of alllll the double O’s you are the best. I haven’t really met any of the others yet, but that’s besides the point. You’re still my favourite okay. I like you more than the interns, but shh” Q held a finger up to his lips, “Don’t tell them okay.”  
Bond’s eyes widened slightly, possibly the most expression some of the interns had seen on him, since he usually stuck to his defaults of being either smug or annoyed or both. The interns, sensing disaster was afoot were quick to grab Q back from Bond before he could say anything. After all, Q embarrassing himself in front of Bond wasn’t going to help Operation 00Q, and they didn’t want any lasting damage to their bosses mental health. They were rather fond of him, despite the fact that he said he preferred Bond over them. Katee was quick to step up and physically walk Bond to the exit, gripping his arm tightly.  
“Listen, I’m sure you’ve got more important things to be doing, being a super important special agent and all that, and we’ve got everything covered here. So how about you head off and we’ll make sure Q gets home safely.”   
Bond looked at her, his poker face once again in place.  
“Make sure that you do.”  
The moment he walked out the door was the moment that all the interns let out a sigh of relief.  
“Thank any and all gods for that” Priya let out. “We should probably get Q home before he does anything else. Or before Bond comes back and kills us all.”  
There were nods of agreement, and some people started making a move towards Q office to gather up his things. They were stopped by Q’s voice.  
“Hey interns, when did we get an owl?”  
“That’s a good point actually.” Lele looked up at the owl questioningly  
“What do you mean the owls always been there.” Ito responded, as though stating the obvious.  
“Seriously? We’ve just always had an owl?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Well, okay then.”  
Deciding they had more important things to worry about than an owl taking roost in their lab, the interns started to move again. This time, it was Clara’s voice that stopped them.  
“Wait. There’s one more thing I think we should do.”

* * * * *

“Well,” Chloe said as she combed through Q’s hair with her fingers, his head in her lap as he sprawled across a park bench, “All in all, that could have been worse.”  
“Chloe, how could it have possibly been worse?” Miza looked at her incredulously.  
“Listen, I finally got to run my hands through our lovely Q’s hair. So for me, this counts as a success.”  
“The fact that he’s passed out in a drunken stupor doesn’t bother you?”  
“Not really, no.”  
“Let Chloe have her Q-hair time” Nox called from her spot on the grass “We all know how long she’s been pandering after it.”  
“Meh, fine. But seriously though as far as Operation 00Q goes today was a bust.”  
“Oh I wouldn’t say that” Katee said, a michevious gleam in her eye.  
“Katee what are you talking about?”  
“You guys didn’t see Bond up close after Q’s little PDA. There was definitely a blush on that gorgeous face, and he was very firm about us making sure Q was okay.”  
Ash almost jumped out of her seat “Operation 00Q: Stage One complete!”  
Priya looked over at her, “Hopefully stage two will go a little smoother. Hey Phil have you finished editing the video yet?”   
“Yep guys it’s done.” Phil leaned back, her tablet on her knees.  
The group of interns all gathered around, careful not to wake the still sleeping Q.   
“You know, it’s a shame the world can’t see this.” Kal said thoughtfully. Boots laughed,  
“Oh I’ve think plenty of people saw it Kal.”  
“Ha, true that.”  
They all settled down as the song started up, a familiar figure began to dance on the screen, the park forming the background.  
“Oopa gangam style!”


End file.
